Birthday Presents
I won free rent at my apartment complex’s brunch raffle today. How sweet is that? A whole month no rent. They called my number in front of everyone and I just walked right up there amazed, took the voucher right out the guy’s hand and went home and hung it on my fridge and called everyone I knew. It was awesome! And wholly untrue.
But really, what if out of the blue you won 6 months of mortgage payments, a semester of school, your credit card paid off, a new car? Free gift. You’d be totally psyched, right? And you’d receive it. Quickly. With a little disbelief, and also gratitude. And fast, like you wouldn’t want them to suddenly change their mind and take it away. And you know you’d call your mom. Your husband. Your friend. Hek yeah!
How do you do with compliments? Can you receive them? Do you just brush them off thinking you don’t really deserve the praise? Or can you be gracious and thank the person wholeheartedly? I kind of do the brush off, turn it around and back to the other person. It’s awkward. It really doesn’t have to be, but I make it that way. Can’t receive. Even if I may secretly like the compliment, I hate the attention.
I thought this was just sort of quirky me with no major ramifications. (Aside from the whole obvious tie-in with trouble receiving salvation as a free gift thing.) Until lately a gift-giving scenario made me reexamine. And this is nothing earth-shattering, more interesting than anything because it flipped things for me and challenged the way I think. And I kind of like it. Even if I don’t know if I could actually replicate it.
The story goes like this. And I swear this one’s true. It was a new friend’s birthday recently. I like birthdays—other people’s—really could do without my own. So even though I was kind of stressing about the gift, I was excited to give it, albeit a little nervous. I wrapped it the night before, set it by the front door so I wouldn’t forget, and figured I’d stick it in her office space at some point during that day. That’d be that. The day was sort of busy all around and as I was leaving work, I swung by her desk to do the drop off and run. She was there, I alerted her to its existence as I plopped it on a file cabinet, and told her I’d see her later that night. Happy birthday, walk away, get in car, success. Confrontation zero. Awkward moments zero. Check.
Much to my profound amazement, when I was with her later than night she pulled out the gift, unopened, and proceeded to conduct Christmas morning in front of me. Card reading included. I was amazed and slightly horrified. I admit. I couldn’t believe it. She had saved it specifically to open in front of me. It never even occurred to me that that was an option. I was dumbfounded. And realized I was embarrassed. Like I was witnessing a private moment in public. Embarrassed she was opening a gift I had given her in front of me. Not to mention reading the card, my written words, in front of me. I couldn’t even process right then, but a few nights later I was praying about something random and God popped into my brain my insane reaction to what seemed to be a very normal thing to her.
Answer: She could receive. I repeat. She can receive. She is gracious. And probably taking the Lord’s name in vain, I literally said out loud, “Jesus, that’s what receiving graciously looks like!”
Me: Running and hiding. She: Receiving graciously. Yes. The more I thought about it and examined it and pondered this one act from all different angles, the more beautiful it became. I mean, I don’t know what was going on in her head for sure (maybe she was just raised with manners) but saving the gift to share the opening experience with the person transformed before my eyes into an act of honoring and showing gratitude to the giver. How awesome is that? It flipped my world a little bit. I think I actually wrote “horrifying and totally admirable” in my journal the night that God brought it back up. I was totally taken aback, and I really admire her for it. She totally challenged me. And I’m fairly certain I got the better present on her birthday.
A whole new light, a whole new respect, a whole new twist on receiving. It made me ask, “Why wouldn’t I be proud to give a gift? What the hek would I be embarrassed about?” I wasn’t even on the receiving end this time! Okay, so maybe I’m a more behind-the-scenes kind of a person and that’s fine, but it really made me check myself. Look beyond myself for once and care about taking the opportunity to show gratitude. And not just on birthdays. And I think it’s so cool! So for now I’m sharing the coolness. Check back in January and I’ll let you know if I can deal with the receiving end of things…graciously.